What Caregiving Has Taught Me About The Plant-Based Vegan Movement
What I've learned these past few weeks ...
Never-ending phone conversations. That’s what happens when you are in the throes of caregiving from afar, with your sister taking charge of every movement.
I could hear the tears in her voice recently. “They think it’s cancer now …”
This hasn’t been going well for many years. We put Mom in assisted living in the middle of 2020. Scary at best, but there was nothing we could do when she fell and couldn’t walk.
Heart disease slowly taking over. Something she’s been dealing with since her first stroke almost thirty years ago.
And now, cancer …
The Anger At A Broken System
I stopped everything and flew to join my sister. Hours, days, in the hospital.
This hospital visit cycled into a lot of things: The never-ending heart problems. Pneumonia … possibly; her lungs were filling with fluid. Weakness, trouble getting up and moving. Then a bigger problem was found through blood work and an x-ray.
We have decisions to make. But for now, it’s about building strength. Getting enough nutrition to feel better. The order was to separate out fluids from solids to avoid aspirating.
And that’s where I walk in. A big sign on the wall.
No consistency variances in meal choices.
What that means is she can’t eat solids and liquids together. So, cereal is out because it combines solid cereal with liquid milk. So is soup - veggies and noodles mixed with broth are a no-no.
Imagine my surprise when I walked into a bowl of chicken noodle soup on her tray. Luckily, she doesn’t like chicken noodle soup; it was still there. But HOW did this screwup happen?
An accident, they say.
😡 I don’t think so. We called to place her order. There were no limitations. And the menu was anything but healthy.
One of her orders: A grilled cheese with white bread and American cheese. Tater tots. Canned fruit. Pepsi.
Really?
The Start of a Journey
Food is a difficult journey at best. I get that. I started on this journey over thirty years ago.
Thirty years ago, my husband met me in the garage after a long day at work. “It’s your dad …” He died of a massive heart attack at the age of 54.
Two years later, my mom went down with a stroke. She’s been living with the effects for nearly thirty years.
And it’s inspired my learning curve for finding out more about food and wellness. And it’s led in all different directions.
Like my strong belief in healthspan over lifespan. Putting quality back into a life rather than just trying to get more life out of your time here on earth.
Or my view on the difference between food and non-food. Yes, I don’t look at it as good or bad - that doesn’t cast the right light. But when you start looking at it as food and non-food, you can start to make better choices.
Trust me, this gets confusing fast. I know it.
I started reading a book on my latest caregiving trip. It’s one I’ve been wanting to read for a while, several people have pointed this book in my direction. So I dug in …
Ultra-Processed People: The Science Behind Food That Isn’t Food by Chris Van Tulleken.
Want a deep dive in an hour? Listen to this marvelous podcast for insight.
Something Chris said about willpower spoke to me. This is not about willpower or weight loss. With ultra-processed foods being highly addictive, formulated to be highly addictive, tens of thousands of products all vying for your attention on the supermarket shelves, this has to be about choice.
Michael Pollan has a quote that ripples through the food industry. “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” Yep.
Are today’s veggies as healthy as they were a decade or two ago? Definitely not. We have an entire crisis going on over the quality of our soils and the foods we grow.
But it does have everything to do with better choices. That’s where I spend my time today. I select what’s better with every meal I prepare, every food I choose.
It’s why I get so angry when I walk into a hospital and see how poor their choices are. How unwittingly they are putting people at more risk simply by not taking control of an issue that we desperately need to be paying attention to.
Let’s be clear; my anger is at the system. I know my role as a caregiver isn’t going to change. Not for my mom. We’re here at this point, and my job is to help her navigate this chosen moment in her life. I’m here for her. Nothing more I can do.
But I can work to change the system. I can speak out and share resources and do what I can to change the system for the better in the coming weeks, months, and years.
That’s my job now. It’s my direction forward.
It’s what I need to do to be the best person I can be.
Right now …
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